From Feeling Like a Failure to Regaining Purpose: My daily commitment to lasting change

Feeling like a failure can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to define you. After a year of setbacks and struggles, I decided to take a different approach—one rooted in consistency over perfection. In this post, I share how I’m committing to daily actions for the next 3 months to create lasting change and regain purpose by showing up every day, no matter what.

Oct 03, 2024

The last 12 months have been challenging—more challenging than I’d like to admit. Life threw some unexpected changes my way, some good, some not so good.

Looking back, I realise I’ve been running on autopilot for much of this time, trying to numb myself from emotions I wasn’t ready to face. It wasn’t the wisest approach, but it was survival mode kicking in.

Recently, though, those emotions caught up with me. It felt like I had a constant, invisible weight pressing down on my mind, a sense that something was wrong, but I couldn’t pinpoint what. I was trying to keep it together outwardly, but internally, it was a different story.

Then, as often happens, a shift came when I least expected it. After a long sleep and a long walk in nature—no phone, just a notebook and pen—I sat down in a coffee shop and started writing. I wrote everything that came to mind, not filtering anything.

And there it was, on paper: I felt like a failure.

Not just in one area of my life, but across the board.

Strangely, seeing those words didn’t send me deeper into despair.

In fact, it was the opposite—it was freeing.

Acknowledge the feeling

Now that I could acknowledge what was really going on in my head, I could start to work on it.

So, I did what I do best: I made lists.

I wrote down all the areas of my life that were contributing to this overwhelming sense of failure—failed personal goals, unfinished projects, and the many things I’d let slide.

Some things, like the past, I couldn’t change. But for the most part, how I felt today and how I’m deciding to feel in the future, I knew I could do something about it.

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

Gracefulness shit

Next, I decided to take a moment to write down what I was grateful for.

This is usually a struggle for me—I’ve always found the “what are you grateful for” exercises to be a bit fluffy, to stay polite. But I gave it a shot.

I started with the obvious—my kids, who, by the way, are objectively the best kids on the planet. From there, I acknowledged the things I was grateful for from my past and the opportunities I have now. Slowly but surely, my mood started to lift.

With a clearer head and a long list of thoughts, I had to ask myself the big question: What now? What was I going to do about it?

Taking actions

One thing became clear: I needed to take action towards my goals.

But this time, I had to approach things differently. In the past, I would get bursts of motivation and dive headfirst into my goals, trying to do everything at once. Inevitably, I’d burn out, lose momentum, and feel like I’d failed again.

This year taught me something important: Consistency beats perfection every time. No matter how small the effort, showing up every day matters.

I learned this lesson while working on my health. When I first started, I went all in—exercising twice a day, pushing myself hard, and aiming for quick results.

Unsurprisingly, I burned out quickly. But instead of quitting, I took a step back and re-evaluated my approach. I shifted my focus from the numbers on the scale to simply making sure I moved my body every day.

Some days it was heavy lifting, other days intense cardio, and sometimes just a leisurely walk. It didn’t matter as long as I kept moving daily. That simple change in mindset completely transformed my relationship with fitness.

The weight loss and better health became by-products of daily actions rather than the end goal.

And that’s the key. I’m applying the same mindset to the rest of my life now. I want to work on what I enjoy, spend time with my kids, and create—whether that’s through building an app, writing more, or experimenting with video creation. These aren’t just goals; they are things that support my larger vision of a fulfilling life.

For a long time, my actions didn’t match my ambitions. I’d have bursts of energy and excitement, but I struggled to maintain them. And like yo-yo dieting, that inconsistency led to frustration and feeling like a failure.

But here’s the thing: Feeling like a failure is deeply personal, and it’s easy to let that feeling consume you But I’ve realised that failure isn’t a life sentence—it’s just a moment, and I have the power to choose what comes next. I’m choosing to leave the past behind, to show up every day, and to focus on the things that give my life meaning and purpose.

The next 3 months trial

For the next three months, I’m committing to daily, consistent action. First, by making sure that my day job time is completely shielded and I’m giving my 100% to my team when they need me.

Next, I’ll focus on daily small actions that will move the needle towards my goals:

But, it doesn’t matter anymore if any of these are ever published, I’m not focused on the outcome. I’m focused on showing up.

The process is what matters. No matter what comes out of it, I’ll grow.

This year might have been complicated, and I might have felt like a failure, but I’m choosing to leave that behind and focus on building a future I can be proud of.